This is Random Max .He is 4 years old. He asks questions that come out of nowhere. His mind is always wondering about anything and everything. Right in the middle of a family activity or during a conversation he and I are having, he will inquire about something that has nothing to do with anything going on at that moment.. His queeries make us laugh and giggle and keep our family extremely entertained! I thought you might enjoy a sampling of some "Random Maxes" along with some pictures of his adorably endearing face!
"Naked boy....to the RESCUE!!!"
"Mom, ummm, how uh-zackly do you pee?"
"Mom, why is it called lightning? It should be called dark-ning."
(while blowing in my hair) "Mom, blowing in your hair is the easiest way to see if there's something in your hair."
"Mom, how do we control our bodies?"
(feelling a textured wall in our living room) "Mom, why do our walls have these freckles?"
"Mom, when will the world turn upside down?"
Me: "Max, you need to stop hitting Ben and Hannah when you're mad at them." Random Max: "Mom, I'll really be nice and do what you say."
"Mom, my farts ticlke me."
"Mom, I'm a hobo football player who really likes girls!"
"Mom, we better teach Ruby some things before she breaks all our stuff!"
"Mom, did I have to get a needle when I was a baby?" Me: "You mean a shot?" Random Max: "Yeah. And do I still have the needle in me?"
"Mom, I was just playing basketball with my head."
(while watching me change Ruby's diaper) "WHAT? Mom, that looks like a dead animal in her diaper! A turkey, I think!"
"Mom, I used to think that Santa lived in heaven with Jesus."
"Mom, do cats have brains?"
"Mom, where are all the jails?"
"Mom, why do we even have to have noses?"
"I am Fish Man!!! Alive fish come out of my hands and destroy things!!"
Random Max: "Mom, are there any real buttons in our house?" Me: "What do you mean?" R.M.: "You know, the kind that you push and they lead you to a secret hideout."
"Mom, do you want to play basketball without a hoop?" Me: "How do you play that?" R.M.: "We both just hit this balloon and do cool moves!"
I reminded Max during the sacrament that it's a time we think about Jesus. He said: " Yeah, I already know that. Mom, I think about some T.V. shows, too."
"Mom, are there real professors who make inventions?" Me: "Yes." R.M.: "Then... where are they?"
"Mom, when I wear both of these hats at the same time it gives me extra powers!!"
(after seeing an older man on the news) " Mom, that man looked like he's half woman and half of a grandpa."
"Mom, what does Kermit's mom look like?"
(right when he woke up) "Mom, is today video game day?" Me: "No, honey, that's Friday." R.M.: "Well, I'll give you a candy if you let me play one video game." Me: "You don't have any candy left." R.M.: "I know. If you give me some then I can give one to you."
"Mom, what is a Jolly Rancher?" Me: "It's a type of candy." R.M.: "No, I mean the human kind."
"Mom, how do they get guys and women on T.V.?"
"Do sisters have germs?"
"Mom, it's not very good to squish babies."
"Is this sucker made out of dogs?"
Me(after asking Max to draw a picture of something he's thankful for) : "That's a great picture. What is it?" R.M.: " It's of a dog peeing?"
"Mom, I think robots should have mommies and daddies and babies."
"Mom, little boys this age don't like flowers."
"Mom, did Jesus make mean animals?"
"Mom, you wouldn't be very glad if you didn't have a son like me!"
(after puking) "I think that muffin had a scrambled egg in it. It tasted gross!!"
"Yessssss! I just beated the level of awesomeness!!!!"
(right in the middle of family scripture study) "Mom, have people gone to outer space?"
"I saw a boy that looked like a girl. I saw the longness of his hair coming down."
"Mom, I think I'm getting a mustache. It just barely happened!"
"Mom, does Jesus know the 's' word?" (fyi: Random Max does NOT know the 's' word:)
"Mom, could you please stop singing that song? It's annoying!" Me: "It's not annoying. It's awesome!" R.M.: "It's not awesome when it's annoying!"
Life goes by so, SO quickly!! It seems like just yesterday the nurse at the hospital put Max in my arms! He's almost 5 now and will soon start kindergarten. I wish I could just freeze him at this age. Of course that can't happen. I'm glad I started writing down the hilarious observations and musings of a funny boy called Random Max!
-Heather
